Cinematic Turds: Walking With Dinosaurs 3D Cinematic Turds: Walking With Dinosaurs 3D
A teenager in a red T-shirt and glasses was sitting in a chair. But, he looked rather nervous. He was twittling his fingers and swetting. “ Hi, I’m Cryptonoah and welcome to Cinematic Turds.” He said in a nervous voice. “And, well, I owe you guys.”
“After my nonexsitant Scariest Animated Moments list, I need to give you guys something you can enjoy. So, what movie should I do…”
(DVD of Walking With Dinosaurs 3D is shown)
“Aw, crap.” Noah exclaimed. He then sat up and was about ready to leave when a stagehand whispered something in his ear.
“I don’t wanna do this. Every thing that could be said about this movie has been said. What could motivate me to…”
The Stagehand whispered again.
“It hasn’t been review
Noah Discusses: Film Comparisons Noah Discusses: Film Comparisons
Hi everyone, Noah here. Occasionally, I'm going to break away from my reviews to discuss aspects of film and criticism. I will not rant or rave like a lunatic when I do this. This will just be me giving a straightforward discussion about my thoughts on certain aspects of the film community. Anyways, now to the discussion. It seems whenever I go to a place like IMDB or Rotten Tomatoes or any other reviewing site, when one film is being discussed, some person will be on there saying "This movie sucks because it isn't like this movie." Which is not a good argument. Not all movies are trying to be like other movies. And not just movies but certain elements of movies are compared with each other. And that's not good film reviewing. A film should be judged on it's own merits. For instance, what are the things that have to be present in a certain film genre to be considered good. You cant' compare every film you watch to another one and say "If it's not
How Not to Criticize a Film How Not to Criticize a Film
A while ago, my dear Youtube friend Savagebroadcast uploaded a video called How Not to Defend a Film. And it was good. However, problems run the other way too. So, in this deviation, I will go into how not to criticize a film:
1. "It's not high art!" Frankly, this is a double edged sword. If you're criticizing a drama or political satire for this, that works. But, if you go into a film like Pirates of the Caribbean or Flash Gordon and you're expecting The Godfather, you're wasting your time. Not all films have the same standards. You should criticize a film for not doing what it's trying to do well. Criticizing 1998 Godzilla for not being a fun monster movie, on the other hand, works.
2. "It's not close to the source material!" Another double edged sword. Sometimes changing details in the source material doesn't work in helping
Top 10 Animated Disney songs Top 10 Animated Disney songs
You know, I've always wanted to do this, but, never got the chance until now. I make no secret of it that I am a fan of the Walt Disney animated films. Their great animation, creative characters and relatable stories have inspired me and many others to become writers. But, the most memorable parts of these films were always the songs. Moving, funny and entertaining, you'll be hardpressed to find anyone who doesn't remember them. But, which are my favorites? Well, I'm here to give you my top 10 today. Just remember, if you disagree with me on any or I left out your favorites, these are strictly my opinions. So, with that said, here we go!
10. The Bare Necessities from The Jungle Book: Here's a classic. This a song you just sit back to and enjoy. It has a great beat, good lyrics and a nice performance from Phil Harris as Baloo. What more could you ask for?
Land of Giants part 3 Land of Giants part 3
5 years later. A large dinosaur is looking for food. It is a 6 meter, 3 ton Camarasaurus. This is Ed, having grown into a large juvenile. He finds a Ginkgo tree and rears up on his hind legs, using his tail for extra support. He then starts feeding from the tree. As the leaves enter his digestive tract, small stones he swallowed, called gastroliths, grind the vegetation to digest it. But, soon, due to his growing to immense size, he will have to leave the forest and move ouit on to the plains with his siblings and join a herd. After feeding, the sauropods let out a bellow and begin to move out. They are heading for the plains. Once they reach it, they have no idea in their small brains what they will find.
Land of Giants part 2 Land of Giants part 2
6 months later. After months of incubation and predator attacks, the eggs are ready to hatch. The eggs start to crack and break and baby Camarasaurus come out. They seak and and chirp as they use their tiny foot claws to dig out of their nests. Each hatchling is the size of a rabbit. But, on this dry plain, they are too exposed to predators. They must find their way to the safety of the forest. And they must go quick. The predators are already rushing in. The hatchlings start to run for the forest. But, due to their short legs, the can only amble towards the forest urgently. The predators, with their long legs and l
Land of Giants part 1 Land of Giants part 1
Colorado. 152 million years ago. A herd of dinosaurs is on the move. A herd of 60 foot, 20 ton Camarasaurus is traveling across the plain. They are part of a family of dinosaurs called sauropods, long necked, long tailed, 4 legged plant-eaters. Some sauropods are the largest animals that will ever walk the earth. These are all female. They are on their way to the place of their birth: the nesting ground.
After 5 miles of walking, they finally reach their destination. It is a dry plain bordered by a forest of ancient conifers. A few gingkoes are also there, along with plenty of ferns to eat. The Camarasaurs then dig holes
Why Music in Film is Important Why Music in film is Important
This is a subject I feel does not get the respect it deserves. I always see this get the shaft and I'm here to give it the respect it deserves. You see, without music, film would feel hollow. For example, imagine Jaws without it's famous shark attack theme. It would not be as scary. Or, imagine The Lion King without Hans Zimmer's score or Elton John and Tim Rice's songs. The weight of the story would not be there. The reason for this is that music sets the mood of a film and in some cases can even tell what's going on in a scene. I'm going to stop this now and will ask you in the comments to list your favorite film soundtracks. And, please list the people who did the soundtracks as well. To get us started, I'll list my faves:
Jurassic Park, Jaws, Idiana Jones: John Williams
Lion King: Hans Zimmer, Tim Rice and Elton John